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Plaintiff Breaks Record For Most Disingenuous Argument Ever Briefed As Southwest Airlines Seeks To Stay Anti-LGBTQ Training Order

That's not how any of this works.

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Heatwave Hits US Southwest

(Ash Ponders/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

There aren’t official records for most disingenuous argument. It’s more of an unserious honorific like, “Best Mom Ever” or “World’s Best Pizza” or “US News & World Report T14 Law School.” And it’s getting harder than ever to keep up with all the disingenuous arguments out there because Alan Dershowitz is still “consulting” his way into sanctions and Jonathan Turley is still talking. But it’s safe to say the latest filing in the Southwest Airlines case joins the pantheon of disingenuity.

Southwest Airlines fired a flight attendant for violating its civil conduct policy after she went on social media and accused her union of aiding in “covering up child sex trafficking” and “helped in Harvesting Baby Parts / Organs, and Sexual Abuse!” She successfully spun her firing as “religious discrimination” as opposed to “cutting ties with someone posting loony, inflammatory remarks about her co-workers.” Mazel tov. Southwest Airlines was ordered to issue a public statement that they cannot discriminate based on religion, which it did.

But Judge Brantley Starr disapproved of Southwest’s verb tense and garbled something about Adam and Eve before issuing an unprecedented order demanding that key Southwest personnel take “training” classes from an SPLC recognized hate group.

Southwest has appealed and seeks a stay pending appeal. That shouldn’t be controversial, but since wingnuts gotta wingnut, the plaintiff has opposed the stay because…

“Without Southwest’s prompt compliance with the court’s Title VII training requirement, the court cannot ensure future compliance with the order giving employees’ notice of their Title VII rights,” her attorneys wrote in its motion challenging the stay request.

What?

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Plaintiff’s counsel frames this as though Southwest is seeking some sort of sneaky collateral attack to get around the order as opposed to the plaintiff seeking a sneaky end-around the direct appellate process.

The argument boils down to “Judge Starr thought this sanction was fair so we have to force Southwest to take its Bigotry 101 classes NOW because we can’t risk the possibility that the sanction turns out to be illegal.”

Except that’s exactly the point of the appeal!

If the Fifth Circuit affirms the order, then Southwest will comply with both the sanction and all the rest of the order. If the Fifth Circuit dings the sanction and Judge Starr isn’t satisfied with Southwest merely complying with the other parts of the order, he can come up with a new, legal sanction at that point.

The only scenario where plaintiff “cannot ensure” Southwest does any of this is if Southwest actually wins! At which point, forcing them to do all this is toothpaste that can no longer return to the tube.

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What a clown show.

Southwest Calls ‘Religious Liberty’ Training Ideological, Judge’s Order Mandating It ‘Unprecedented’ [Corporate Counsel]

Earlier: Trump Judge Orders In-House Lawyers To Take Classes From Anti-LGBTQ Group
Judge Earns Misconduct Complaint After Ordering Lawyers Take Training Classes From Anti-LGBTQ Group

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

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