Come On Barbie, Let's Go Litigate!

People are very red in the face about a movie that's so pretty in pink. And it's hilarious! 

Barbie Judge Career of the Year Profile

(Image via Mattel, Inc.)

Since the live action Barbie movie dropped on Friday, there have been several think pieces on the pink phenom. And for good reason. Barbie has been a household name for generations. When a production company goes so far as to cause a global shortage of pink paint, it is going to make waves. It, like its predecessors before it, is also going to inspire. Lori Andrews shared the story of how Barbie laid the pinkprint for her successes in The Telegraph:

When I was 7 years old, Barbie was my first doll that might need a job instead of a diaper change. I imagined my Barbie as an archaeologist or a veterinarian or, a few years later when the space race began, an astronaut. Her future was unfettered.

At age 10, I wrote a complaint letter to Mattel — and got action. They sent me a new Ken head with blond plastic hair. By popping the heads on and off, my Barbie could have two boyfriends — a wise, balding older guy or a somewhat clueless but hunky surfer dude.

That experience could have inspired me to be a bigamist. Instead, my successful complaint letter led me to consumer advocacy.

And advocate she did. She went on to chair the board of the Human Genome Project, fought employment and insurance discrimination, and wrote a social network constitution meant to rein in snooping tech giants like Facebook.

As SCOTUS and other lawmakers roll back civil rights protections and diversity initiatives, the make up of our country’s universities and law schools will change over time. Affirmative action has been pivotal in increasing the amount of women in higher education. There is no doubt that Republican groups will try to make the most of the recent Harvard and UNC affirmative action decisions to spite sue law schools that admit too many racial and sexual minorities. And though there will be lawsuits that fight for whatever remains of affirmative action, it will be important to encourage a culture where young people see themselves represented and able to self-determine their futures. Seen in that light, maybe the vitriol against the Barbie movie makes a little more sense.

It would be interesting enough if Ben Shapiro was the lone and so-very-serious outlier in this regard, but he has company. Let’s also take a moment to laugh at those people.

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And let’s nip the arguments that this is some new woke agenda in the bud. Inspiring future generations of women like Lori Andrews and others was Mattel’s point from early on:

They weren’t perfect, of course. Andrews goes on to mention Mattel’s misstep of marketing Barbies that thought math was a bore. After some backlash and guerrilla strategies of switching out Barbie voice boxes with G.I. Joe figures, Mattel got the measure. It would be in a Barbie lover’s best interests to prepare for similar conflicts to come. It isn’t a question of if, but when the fight against affirmative action will target programs recruiting women for STEM and law.

Before the fight hits home, this is your permission to ignore the naysayers. If you haven’t seen it already, give in to the feminist agenda! Grab some friends, get dressed up, hell — make a whole day of it and do karaoke afterward. You know what you have to sing once you get there. Who knows, you just might leave the place a little more inspired to litigate.

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How My Barbie Dolls Led Me To Become A Lawyer [The Telegraph]


Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.